Thursday, November 22, 2012

What Are You Thankful For?

The other day, I was down in the dumps.  I'd just gotten off the phone with that devilishly handsome man I married, we were talking about how we're tired of busting ass to 'get there' in life.  We're just ready to 'be there' dang it!  We were brainstorming ideas on how to 'get there' and kept hitting dead ends.  I stopped at a gas station to fuel up, kinda down in the dumps, wrapped up in my own thoughts, etc.  I was walking inside to pay when all of the sudden, an older gentlemen in a Dodge Dakota hollers out his window at me, "Hey ma'am!" I do a mental roll of the eyes and turn around to see who's talking to me.  "Are you alright?" the older gentlemen asks. 

I wish I could've seen what my facial expression looked did this guy know how I was feeling?!  Cue the Twilight Zone music!  I said to the older gentlemen, "Yes, I'm fine, thanks."

With a bit of a smile he replied, "Well, I can tell you're not alright, ya know why?" 

"Why's that?" I asked, catching on to the fact that he's trying to be funny.

"Well, you've got a left hand and a right hand, dontcha?  You can't ever be alright!"  He says with a chuckle.  "You have yourself a wonderful Thanksgiving ma'am."

And just like that, my whole day turned right around.  Today, I'm thankful for the little things in life that remind us not to sweat the small stuff.  What are you thankful for?   

Monday, November 19, 2012


As I sit here sipping on some red wine and watching some Duck Dynasty, I'm feeling the need to share something with you all:  Horse Noses. 

Oh yes, if you've experienced the warm, fuzzy, rubbery-ish, sweet-smelling-ness, you know exactly what I'm talking about. 

I could take pictures of these suckers all day long.  And during a photography class in college, that's pretty much what I did.  Almost every assignment I turned in consisted of something that looked like this.

Or this...

Phone pic courtesy of a friend interning at the Miner Institute

Or this...

Made ya look!
Needless to say, the instructor wasn't super impressed with my, um, 'lack of content.'  Oh well, 'C' for credit!!  

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Tis' the Season...

To channel your inner Katniss kids!  Well, technically bow season was a couple of weeks ago.  Now we're in full-fledged, population controlling, deer harvesting, rifle season baby!  Translation: many of us haven't seen our husbands for several days.  They only come back to the house to occasionally eat, use the John (if the occasion calls for it), and sometimes shower (if we're lucky).

They'll generally come back to the house to consume baked goods as well (insert festive sugar cookies here).
I'd be lying if I told you I hadn't been bitten by the hunting bug.  Up until this year, I'd always kind of grudgingly woken up at the crack of dawn, dressed in layer upon layer of winter clothes (please, please, please envision the kid from 'A Christmas Story,' it makes me smile), and stumbled my way to "the spot" with hubby.  I think it's because I absolutely suck at sitting still for long any amount of time.  This year, that devilishly handsome man I married has been pretty busy with work, meaning wifey's on her own if she wants to go deer hunting.  I may or may not be scared of the dark, so I may or may not have some issues with the whole walking in the woods in near complete darkness thing, but I'm coping.  Slowly coping.  There's something legitimately empowering about walking through the entire process on your own.      

On a more serious note, there are some pretty cool things that happen as a result of deer season here in Missouri.  The state's Department of Conservation sponsors a 'Share the Harvest' program that allows hunters to donate their harvested meat to hungry families throughout the state.  Deer meat is an excellent source of very lean protein for those in need.  Departmental statistics show that hunters donated 317,882 pounds of meat to this program during the 2011 hunting season.  Thanks so much to all who participated!!  You rock!  And thanks so much to all the wives who put up with their husbands participation in this yearly pilgrimage/manhood/macho thing.  You all rock as well.

Good luck out there, hunters! 

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Wardrobe Malfunction

Raise your hand if you remember this historical wardrobe malfunction that occurred during the half-time show of Superbowl XXXVIII!  (Bonus points are involved if you can tell me what number XXXVIII is...I've absolutely no idea.)

Cute, sassy dress
A couple of weekends ago, I was involved in my very own derrierre wardrobe malfunction.  It involved a cute, sassy dress (purchased from Plato's Closet, because I'm a tight-ass) with a back zipper that decided to revolt right when I needed it most.  Maybe not as epic as Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake's um...situation...but at the time the badonk malfunction happened, the only thing I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and not come out until either 1) my malfunction was fixed, or 2) copious amounts of wine had been consumed.  #2 ended up being the winner.

I was attending a wedding of two very good friends, with a bunch of other very good friends (aka. college reunion, aka. see #2 above).  The devilishly handsome man I married had to work this particular weekend, which turned out to be a blessing.  If he would've had to suffer through the badonk malfunction, I would've died of embarrassment even more than I already that even possible?!

Anyway, back to the back zipper horridness.  I'd just met up with my brother who was filling in as my +1 for the evening since hubby could't make it.  Bro-ha is a college student in the town where the wedding took place; I figured he'd enjoy a free meal during the reception, being a poor college kid and all.  Little did he know, a full moon was on the menu!  We had just walked allllll the way across the reception hall (read: in front of EVERYONE) to reach our seats when my good friend Mer tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Hey Jen, your dress is gapping in the back."  I was all "Oh, ok.  I'll fix it here in a bit."  That's when I felt the breeze.  That's when I felt the huge gaping hole.  That's when I felt the bare skin of the upper portion of my derrierre showing off it's glowing self to THE ENTIRE ROOM.  That's also when I wanted to crawl in that previously mentioned hole.

My poor, poor, potentially traumatized brother was such a sweetie; volunteering to get me a plate of food and a glass of wine.  My girlfriends jumped into action, pinning where they could, boosting
 my tattered self-esteem, oh yeah, and more wine was involved.  In the end (bahahaha!) one of the gal's at a neighboring table switched sweaters with me (mine was one of those short, cropped types; hers was long and flow-ey).

Not even Instagram could make this prettier!
What in the world would we do without sweet, fabulous, kick-ass girlfriends??  Have a LOT worse wardrobe malfunctions, that's for sure! ;)

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Don't Worry, We Lived

Ever heard of the Craigslist Killer?  Well, just the other day, I was about 110% convinced that the devilishly handsome man I married and I where about to come face-to-face with the Missouri version of this not-so-urban legend.

One of hubby's favorite things to do is hunt for good deals on Craigslist.  "Why," you ask?  Great question.  I think it must have something to do with the fact that he was raised with 5 sisters and has a better eye than I do when it comes to bargain hunting.  The man can out-shop me any day of any week...unless kitchen supplies are involved.  When shopping for kitchen supplies, I am like a woman on fire.  I don't think there's a kitchen large enough to hold all the gadgets I desire... 

Anyway, a couple of weekends ago, hubby stumbled across a pretty good Craigslist deal on some saddles and tack for sale.  He's never been one to beat around the bush, so hubby calls up the guy fixin' to get rid of this stuff, and learns this individual is pretty unaware of the market value for gently used saddles/equipment, and calls himself "At the mercy of the buyer."  Aka--will sell this stuff for cheapo.

My initial reaction: "AWESOME!  We may be about to purchase stolen items from the Craigslist Killer."

The next thing I learn, we're meeting this individual at a truck-stop so we can follow him out of town/away from civilization to his house so we can check out these saddlesOh yeah, the absolute best part?!  This guy drives a white service-looking van with KC lights on the back!  Hello potential criminal, we'll just follow you right out to your place so you can conveniently chop us up and chuck the pieces in the back of your Astro big deal. 

I even snapped a shot of his plates with my phone camera, so I could shoot out an emergency S.O.S text message if it turned into a situation.  I had the message already drafted and everything, dad always taught me to be prepared!

Luckily, our potential Craigslist kill turned out to be a nice, most likely lonely older guy with a shed full of junk.  We ended up walking out of there with a legit saddle, four saddle blankets, brand-new rope halter.

Moral of the story: when you find that amazing deal on Craigslist, take your partner-in-crime/husband/large dog/whatever makes you feel secure before taking on this adventure. 

The end.  Happy Hunting.

Saturday, November 3, 2012


The other evening, I stopped at our local grocery store on my way home from All Saints' Day Mass.  I was driving the hubby's pick-up, had just hopped out of the cab and was slowly making my way across the parking lot.

I was still half-way across the lot and attempting to text my good friend Katlyn and walk at the same time (aka asking for trouble), when I briefly glimpsed a tall, dark, boot-wearing individual strolling out of the grocery store doors.  Seeing as how I'm happily married to a wonderful man, I didn't pause to get a good look at this boot-wearing dude, and wasn't really paying attention, so I vaguely filed this individual as "Hm, cutie, whatev" in my head while sidestepping a random cart in the parking lot.  

Next thing I half-notice is a hassled looking lady toting an over-full cart and a toddler across the parking lot.  A bag fell out of the hassled lady's cart without her knowing it and the next, next thing I notice is  tall, dark, boot-wearing cutie picking up the hassled lady's bag, "Excuse me ma'am, I think you dropped this," he said, handing the bag back to her.  Still not really paying attention, I think "Oh look, he's nice too."  Then I do a double take.  Then I do a triple take.  I know those boots...I know that voice...I know that cutie-ness...Hey that's my husband!!!  He'd stopped at the grocery store after work to bring home some dinner.  

So nice to know I married such a tall, dark, handsome, boot-wearing, kind-hearted, wonderful man.  He's the bomb :)

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Vewwy Scawwwy!

Since yesterday was Halloween and I was waaay too busy passing out candy to cute lil trick-or-treaters watching terrifying movies, folding laundry, and drinking wine (basically a typical evening, minus the terrifying movie part) to write a blog post, I'll share my creepy story with you today.  I'll also share this 'boo' pizza with you.  It was delicious, scary, and no bueno for the ol' calorie count.

**Side note--I honestly wish we did get trick-or-treaters at our house...definitely one downfall of living on a gravel road.

So I snapped these photos while running the Rock 'n' Roll half-marathon in St. Louis the other weekend.  Why they turned out weird like this, I have absolutely no idea.  I use a setting on my camera phone that makes pics a bit more clear (and also saves copies of the photos on the phone, for some odd reason).  These are the copies that turned out weird!!

Seeing double at Busch Stadium...

And my personal with detached legs!!

Happy belated Halloween, everyone!  I hope you ate way too much candy last nigh, then went out to Wal-Mart and bought up all the left-overs for 50% off...cause that's definitely what I did. ;)